


tame the ghosts in my head

by missMHO



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Angst, DC Comics Rebirth, Detective Comics #940, Established Relationship, Lots of Angst, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-08-15 00:47:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8035732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missMHO/pseuds/missMHO
Summary: When the first shock passes, Jason acts fast. Whatever Dick deemed important enough to seek him undercover - and damn Dick if it isn’t and it will jeopardize Jason’s operation - it cannot be discussed here.[spoilers to "Detective Comics #940"]





	tame the ghosts in my head

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this almost immediately after I finished reading the issue. I needed this out of my system.
> 
> I am still not a native user of English and this was not beta'd by one. If you see any mistakes, please let me know. Thanks to kasssumi for taking a look at it whether it makes sense at all <3
> 
> Title taken from "Lover's Eyes" by Mumford & Sons.

He’s in that damned bar again, surrounded by Gotham’s criminal finest. Jason didn’t think he’ll be coming back here anytime soon after he managed to reach whom he wanted to reach. But now Black Mask wants him to find a guy and this is still the best place to do it.

He hears someone come in and shifts his attention towards the door to assess whether it’s someone of interest to him. He actually freezes for a second once the newcomer is close enough for Jason to identify.

Dick is wearing Jason’s hoodie, with the hood put over his head to disguise himself, along with a black half-mask that is covering his face from nose down. It’s a good choice for the rest of the patrons not to associate him with Nightwing or Dick Grayson in any way, but also villainish enough to fit in. There’s a holster with a gun on Dick’s hip that also belongs to Jason. It’s all sufficient to fool the crowd but not Jason. He’d know these baby blue eyes anywhere...

When the first shock passes, Jason acts fast. Whatever Dick deemed important enough to seek him undercover - and damn Dick if it isn’t and it will jeopardize Jason’s operation - it cannot be discussed here.

Jason approaches Dick and grips the front of the hoodie into his fist.

“I told you already you’re not welcome here, punk,” he says loud enough that everyone in the bar can hear him. “Looks like I need to show you your place myself.”

Then he violently drags Dick out of the bar - accompanied with some cheers and shouted tips how to kick the intruder’s ass - and into the next narrow alley.

“What the fuck, Dick?!” he lets go of him and takes off his helmet. Dick does the same with his mask. Only now that they’re alone and he can take a look at Dick’s whole face, Jason sees the tension written all over it.

“What happened?” he asks again, this time his voice is softer and filled with worry. Dick takes a deep breath, keeping his eyes down and visibly avoiding Jason’s.

“The new team was fighting some new military organisation with sick ambitions,” Dick finally blurts out. “There were drones and-- Tim couldn’t just disable them so--” Dick sounds as if he couldn’t catch a breath big enough to continue speaking. “So he--”

“He did what?!” Jason cannot stop the aggressiveness in his voice, he thinks he knows where this is all going but he must hear it--

“He reprogrammed them so that he was the sole target…”

Jason wants Dick to shut up despite just shouting at him to continue speaking. He wants Tim to jump out of nowhere and tell him that it’s all a cruel joke they decided to play on Jason to make him come back to them and abandon the undercover mission.

But he just stands there waiting for the dreaded words to come.

“He survived the first attack,” Dick continues. “But then the second swarm came and--” his voice breaks into a sob.

Jason’s fist hits the wall hard enough to make a hole in it. But the pain in his hand is nothing compared to the choking weight on his chest.

“I’ll find a Lazarus Pit,” he states out loud before the thought has been fully conceived in his mind and he sounds _crazy_. “I’ve dealt with the consequences so Tim will manage too, he’s so much better than me, and I’ll help him and--”

Dick’s staring blankly into the space in front of him and his voice sounds _hollow_ when he says “There’s no body, Jay”.

The cry of anguish seems to be ripped from his chest and Jason almost collapses to the ground from the force of it. But suddenly Dick is there, his arms around Jason and keeping him upright. Jason cannot stop himself from crying into Dick’s shoulder and he hears the other man quietly sobbing as well. He’s sure he’s almost suffocating Dick with the force of his embrace but he can’t ease it, he must feel Dick in his arms--

“He got in, you know,” Dick whispers but his mouth is close enough to Jason’s ear that he hears it clearly. “He received the genius grant from the Ivy University, he just got the letter…”

This time Jason’s knees buckle under him from the force of the words and he falls to the ground with Dick still in his embrace.

His Timmy, his little genius, so smart, so _good…_

“Who did it? Whose drones--?”

“Bruce’s got him, he’s dealing with him…”

Jason feels the Lazarus frenzy trying to get a grip on him as the sorrow and rage rise within him. He buries his face in Dick’s neck, grounding himself in the closeness of his lover. The last thing Tim would want is for Jason to lose himself to the influence of the Pit again.

 _Tim_ …

“Jay…” Dick mutters and this time Jason can barely hear him. “Please, _please_ , come home, I can’t… I can’t deal with this alone I…”

Jason hates his brain for starting to analyse his situation with Black Mask and how disappearing now will destroy the whole operation. But he doesn’t care about the mission now, he doesn’t care about anything but making sure Dick is alright. He’ll do a little show with B that will spread the word that Red Hood was captured by the Bat and then he will be able to be where he’s really needed.

“Of course,” he answers Dick’s plea, stroking his hair. “I won’t leave you alone.” Just like Tim was when he-- “I don’t want to be alone either,” he admits after stifling a sob.

After they find the strength in them to get up, they head to the Belfry. They travel via the roofs of Gotham in silence, trying to work out some of their anger and helplessness by tiring out their bodies with the punishing pace they put on themselves.

They stop only once in their blind run, when they land on a roof where Tim kissed Jason for the first time and Jason misses a step upon the realisation and falls roughly to the ground. He wants to leave as soon as possible but he finds himself in need to fight another rush of Lazarus-induced murderous rage. Dick allows him to take his time to fight through it as he hugs Jason’s face to his stomach while Jason is rendered immobile by the frenzy, still kneeling on the damned rooftop. Dick doesn’t say anything, just brushes his fingers through Jason’s hair and breathes in and out in a steady rhythm that Jason tries to match his own to.

The Belfry is quiet when they arrive. Bruce is sitting by Tim’s computer, still in full Batman regalia except for the cowl resting on the back of his neck. He stares at something in his hands, a piece of paper. When they come closer, Jason sees it’s the letter from Ivy University.

Bruce finally looks up at them when they approach. For a moment Jason sees the expressionless mask on his face that Bruce usually dons in such situations and he feels his blood boil. But silent seconds later it falls as he looks at Jason with pain and Jason can’t imagine what it must feel like for Bruce to look at his resurrected failure of a son after losing Tim…

Jason forgets how to breathe when Bruce suddenly gets up and puts him in a tight embrace, the same way Jason hugged Dick earlier, the way you check that the person in front of you is _there_ and alive.

“Thank you for coming,” Bruce says after withdrawing and taking a step back. Jason would think he’s hallucinating the whole thing if he didn’t see the teary expression on Dick’s face as he looks at both of them.

“There’s is something you both need to know,” Bruce starts, all composed now and meaning business. “I went back _there_ and I have reasons to believe Tim was taken from the scene of the fight.”

Jason hangs to how Bruce said _Tim_ and not _Tim’s body_ as if to a lifeline.

“There is not enough residual tissue and the drones from the second swarm were more powerful but _not_ powerful enough to dematerialize a human body.”

Dick wraps his hand around Jason’s with a crushing force and Jason returns it.

There’s a chance Tim is somewhere out there and he has people who will do _anything_  to get him back.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is a oneshot and for the moment I am not planning a continuation - I'm waiting how the story will play out in comics for now.
> 
> PS: I'm on [tumblr](http://missmho.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/hoodedmiho) if anyone wants to cry together over comics.


End file.
